Changed
by csi gsr freak
Summary: Oneshot. GSR. Why could they never work? be nice. my first CSI fic R&R please.


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters… blah, blah, blah… etc. you get the basic idea.

Summary: slight angst… just how much would Sara and Grissom change if they did get together?

BTW, this one goes a little fast, I know, but please give it a try… and always remember… just say no to penguins…

Sara felt a tug in the pit of her stomach as she watched Grissom laugh with Catharine. Why did she always get so possessive over this man? It wasn't like she owned him or anything, but whenever she saw him have a good time with another woman; Sara started feeling a little… controlling. Not that that was the best word to describe her feelings, but the only one present in her mind at the moment.

Later, she walked past his office and saw him sitting alone at his desk. "Hey Sara. Are you actually going home?"

She stopped and laughed sarcastically. "Yeah. I feel kinda tired and just figured it would be nice to actually let me neighbors think I live there and it's not haunted."

He widened his eyes and gasped sarcastically. "You, tired? Well, I never. This is the most amazing day of my life. Wow, Sara. I never figured I would live to see the day where you actually left work on time to go home and sleep."

"Liar." Sara said flirtily. "There was one time where I had a mandatory day off, and I left on time. You acted equally shocked, thank you very much."

He laughed throatily and smiled at her. For a few minutes, they just stood and thought over old times. Then, Sara looked deep into Grissom's eyes and stepped into his office. She closed the door behind her.

As she approached his desk, Sara noticed Grissom looked more than a little bit worried. She walked around the desk. "Hey Griss? Do you wanna go to breakfast?"

He stuttered, trying to comprehend what she had just asked. "I don't know, Sara. I don't think that's such a good idea."

She leaned closer, becoming mere inches away. "Why not? Why can't we just go to breakfast and see what could happen?" He stuttered something inaudible and looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes. "You know what?" She leaned in even closer, her hands clutching the armrests on either side of him. "Screw breakfast." She kissed him softly.

Grissom was just the tiniest bit shocked, momentarily. Then he deepened the kiss, pulling her into his arms. Sara moaned and they both stood up, amazingly not breaking the contact. His hand slid up and down Sara's side, pausing when his fingers hit flesh.

Suddenly, he broke off and pulled back, looking slightly frightened. "Sara, we can't. This isn't…" He sat down quickly, trying to gather his wits about him.

Sara sat across from him and tried unsuccessfully to hide the disappointment in her voice. "Why? Why can't we? We've waited, we both have. We've gone through so much together. We should be able to do this, Grissom. Are you scared of something? Because, trust me, at 5'6", I am not that intimidating of a person. What could you possibly be afraid of?"

He looked up, emotions cracking through his worn mask. "I'm afraid of how much both of us would change. Think about it. What we love in each other now would disappear if we…did something about… this…"

"No, it wouldn't, Grissom!" Sara screamed at him. "Nothing would change except we wouldn't have to hide our feelings any more. We could just be together, as happy as ever."

"Think about it, Sara. I love that you show so much dedication to your career. I love that you're willing to give up all your personal time to come in and work overtime. I love that I can call you in the middle of the day and know that you'll be awake and be able to come into work whenever I need you. I love that you get so irritated when somebody else gets a better case then you do. I love that you can flirt so easily with almost every guy in the crime lab. I love all that about you. But, if we ever did get together, you wouldn't want to be in here all the time. You wouldn't work so much overtime. You would be out there doing something with your time. And more likely than not, you wouldn't be an insomniac any longer, because insomnia is triggered by stress or depression. What would you have to stress about? I would feel obligated to give you the best cases. And if we ever got together and started dating, you wouldn't be able to flirt with every guy here, because they would all know and they wouldn't fall for it. We would get in so many fights over so many stupid little things, it's not even funny."

Sara let the tears come this time, only because she didn't have the walls to hold them back any longer. "I know. I guess I've always known that. It's not fair."

Grissom could only nod. "I know it isn't, honey. I know."

She walked to the office door, but paused just before opening it. "Hey Grissom? Are we going to pretend this didn't happen? Because I think people will know."

He exhaled deeply. "No. At least, I'm not. If they want to know, then they can know. They have the right to know." Sara nodded in agreement and sighed.

"Goodnight, Grissom. I'll see you next shift."

"Goodnight, Sara." He looked up at her and tried his hardest to give her an encouraging smile, but he couldn't find the encouragement in his body to do that.

THE END

Just something that came to me in English class. Flames aren't exactly adored, but oh well. Criticism is fine, I suppose. Just please R&R.


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